tobyy

You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.

SPAM

Not going to therapy today because I refuse and this whole denial thing is working for me right now I went to the hardware store with dad today to buy, of all things, a wheelbarrow for mom's garden. And as if I wasn't already laughing my ass off at this little inside joke that I had to share with him, there was this. Sounds like a good time.

I get to play in topsoil here soon and scream at bees while mom laughs at me before I go into work. Oh, she gave me a gag graduation gift already. It's a HSM 2 print. I love it though, so the joke is on her. Her and dad bought Calli an awesome Oklahoma print and I'm geeking because this is just adorable and I cannot even. My parents are looking forward to meeting the Haynes Clan that will be making their appearance soon. I'm a little terrified but.. ya know. Calli's little sister randomly joined some of our Skype chats before, popping her little head in front of the screen. So.. I'm pretty sure she likes me. Hopefully I can impress the parents. And not be like Ben Stiller.

Firstly, I would like to say that I was not driving that car. I have plenty of witnesses that can confirm my whereabouts.

I lost so much fucking homework in that stupid accident fucking hell and I'm staying at my parent's house and it makes me feel like I'm in high school again but I'm really not because I'm fucking graduating college I'm freaking the hell out and where the fuck does time go? Before I know it Calli will be gone and I learned this morning that you are never too old to get cuffed in the back of your head by your mother. She was making pancakes and left the batter unattended and I'm only human. Plus there were blueberries and strawberries left out and I am unable to resist temptation. I have no regrets. And I also grabbed Calli's ass at breakfast. Dad found the color of Calli's cheeks (her upper ones) hilarious. Mom was not amused by my shenanigans and made me apologize. XD

And so we begin Finals Week. I have got to finish my original play, good god. It's called Mighty Morphin Musical. And I have to finish the song "Good Morning, Dragonzord" (make fun of me all you want because I blame Hairspray, okay) before I lose my mind. Speaking of songs...

( Chloe, this list is so super duper, it needs a fucking cape. )

Wednesday was our gap and gown convocation and I was freaking out the entire time, oh my god. Seeing Calli in her cap and gown almost made me bawl because this part of my life will be over, and she's fucking moving. I'm going to be let out into the real world and have to be an adult and responsible for people's education and what if I'm a horrible teacher and the students hate me and think I'm a complete moron...holy Jesus shit, what if I fail my finals and don't get my Bachelor's it all feels.. bittersweet. I'm so not ready to put countless nights of studying and sleep deprivation to good use and teach. Finally. And this summer I'll be a counselor at an art camp and I'm excited. \o/ I hope I inspire at least one person so I feel some validation about putting it on my resume. Oh god a resume.

TOMORROW IS THE ZOMBIE RUN, GUYS. How excited am I?

( I'm this excited! )
Also, go see The Raven. Just do it.

( GUESS WHAT )

My tongue is hanging out in most of my icons. This post will be random. I feel hyper and relatively insane at the moment.

Okay, so Coachella was completely and totally awesome. I'm trying not to reiterate what most have already said about it. However, it was a magical land full of love and brother/sisterhood, live music, beer, half-naked people in body paint, sweat, laughter and sprites. If you've never been, you should definitely go. Wear sunscreen! And take me with you.

I also just realized I haven't had a bite of Nutella in over a week. I shall remedy this after I post this entry.

When I'm a father, it'll be like this. I'm sure of it.

Graduation is coming up! Calli is leaving in September and I want time to fucking stop. But more importantly, the foam party is.. today! Yes, because it's after midnight. And next weekend? ZOMBIE RUN. Unless I have my weekends confused...

And now I'm going to finish my homework and try not to be distracted by the Rugrats or Hey Arnold. Netflix will be the death of me. Also Nutella, of course. Not the death of me, but.. I'm going to eat it like right now. Although, it may give me diabeetus. I really shouldn't joke about that. Diabetes. As I open another can of Dew...

Why hasn't the whole Titanic door debate been on MythBusters yet? Because I think if weight was evenly distributed on both sides, Jack would've lived. The door would've stayed afloat and everything.

You know what? I'm finished with homework for the night. I've been working on it for the last four hours. Link me to something that makes you smile. [Fun fact: that sentence was originally 'lick me to something..', ahah.]

Someone needs to take these doughnuts from me because the Cubs are going to earn their, what, five-game losing streak. I'm eating my feelings.

Dodgers are also playing and I remain optimistic. Kinda. We'll see.

COACHELLA. I'LL BE ON A PLANE IN THE MORNING. I'll have to edit this later and make it sound more eloquent after these damn games.

Oh, and most importantly, apparently two week anniversaries equal pie. Because Calli is lovely and too good to me even though I tease her with The Song That Shall Not Be Named, NSYNC and wheelbarrows (which I still blame Preston for starting, I don't even care), and the fact that she's been able to put up with me is awesome. I just really have a lot of feelings because she's going to be leaving and it's going to hurt even worse now REPRESS, DENY, REPRESS, DENY I'm okay and we can do this and we'll be okay like that Jason Mraz song

Okay, I'm just going to stick with the Dodgers for right now. I can't concentrate. I need to.. go. And do something. Smoke.

In the words of the immortal Dick Clark, SO LONG.

Coachella \o/

Not adding celebrities because I will literally agonize over this list forever.

1) Peter
2) Gio
3) Lucas Derek's arms Lucas
4) Preston [triple backpat brohug and all that jazz]
5) Ken
6) Derek's arms
7) Brandon
8) Vince

I feel like I'm missing a few people. :-/

Disclaimer: Just for fun. Besides, I've already been in Peter's pants anyway. I accidentally grabbed his jeans instead of mine from the laundry basket a few days ago. So Peteyr, if you're wearing jeans that are a little baggy in the ass, I'm sorry.

Dammit. I can't get that song out of my head. And now I want to drum. I need to learn how to tap. No, I need to learn to walk without tripping over myself first. Anyway.

Happy Zombie Jesus Day. Hoppy Easter. Happy Easter. Happy Looking-For-Eggs Day. Happy I'm-Going-to-Gorge-Myself-With-Delicious-Edibles Day or whatever you celebrate, have a happy one filled with candy and love!

Calliface will be joining me for dinner at the Molloy's and I'm absolutely over the moon because this feels so much more coupley than usual and I completely love it and I'm not entirely sure if it's healthy to be this happy because jeez where Irish and Filipino food join forces to make one super smorgasbord of awesome! \o/ Mom is making puchero, crispy pata and her homemade coconut milk sorbet. And I just.. I cannot. Pops is taking care of the turkey and his famous potato and leek bake, and I'll probably need to take an extra-long run tomorrow because I'm going to stuff my face. I'm also curious as to whether my younger cousins are taller than me now. Oh, and there will be a baby there and I'm going to melt all over the place and babble like a moron.. which is what I'm doing now. And then to Aunt Bev's!

Also, tonight? This will be happening. I'm personally looking forward to method #83. And when I do #100, I hope my Peep does an epic ninja-spin down the toilet too.

Coming Up Next: The Mancrush List. Dun dun dun.

So for Therapy Monday a Monday, today has been pretty freaking sweet. Well, yesterday, I guess. Because it's Tuesday now. And I watched the time change from yesterday (Monday) to today (Tuesday), and I love when I'm able to see that. Because I feel like a time traveler or that guy from Quantum Leap.. like I'm glomping into tomorrow with open arms and I'm just really hyper right now. I had a productive.. yesterday!

I went to work, which is always good. I enjoy my job. Money is awesome too. And then I went to the park where I chased a squirrel. I think I should form a club called.. Squirrels Chasers Anonymous except that I just told everyone that I chase them so it wouldn't really be anonymous. But then again, once you join a club, you're outing yourself for being a collective group focusing on a certain thing anyway. So maybe just Squirrel Chasers would work. And then I went to the store! And bought.. a lot of awesome. And that musical collection?! Five dollars. Five. Dollars. What the heck, right? The Christmas Collection with Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald? Also five dollars.

Also Fun Dip. XD

So yeah. Work, play, park, squirrels (see! I exercise!), store, sugar. It was awesome. Oh, and I watched The Voice with Andie!

How was your yesterday, Providence? And how has your today been so far?

Okay, no. I'm not proposing we eat our young. However, there will be flesh consumption involved. I miss Zombie Night. And I was thinking (dangerous sign, I know; blame Andie) that our zombie-loving horde could get together and watch the evolution of zombies in film. Most of you already know this but I'm somewhat of a nerd; I love classic films, especially horror. I can contribute movies dating back to the 30's and 40's (White Zombie, The Voodoo Man, I walked With a Zombie, Revolt of the Zombies, etc). However, there will be major geeking on my part and I will inevitably flail at you so I apologize beforehand. And of course Romero will be introduced because I'm a fanboy and buy all of his films no matter how silly (Flight of the Living Dead, ahem). I just find it interesting how zombies have morphed from tales of Haitian Voodoo to this sinister cultural phenomenon, and wondered if anyone else would be interesting in dorking out with me.

And! Okay, so maybe I have two proposals. Kind of. Does anyone like playing board games? Because, while video games are awesome, I'm nostalgic. I love the socialization and interaction that board and card games provide that the video and online world are lacking in. I'm social and I refuse to apologize; I don't care. I hate being alone I'm not competitive in the least but I enjoy the experience of being part of a team working toward a common goal. Board games help with thinking outside the box, inspires creativity, and I should stop now because I'm just making myself sound like a needy idiot, ahah.

Sidenote: What makes a person a "hipster"? And is this a bad thing?

EDIT: HEADCOUNT FOR THIS! Calli, Peter and Ruby: I'm volunteering you guys. I don't care.

So far it's: Andie, Chloe, Preston, myself and the aforementioned people that I'll kidnap. COME RUN FROM ZOMBIES WITH US.

( [locked to self] )

( [locked to self] )

Favorite childhood game, go!

I'm torn between Jenga and Hungry, Hungry Hippos. Or.. oh god. Mouse Trap! I never did play that correctly though. I just built the trap to set it off, ahah. SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 2 ON SEGA GENESIS. Okay, finished now.

• You can't spell Arkham without Mark Hamill.

• I'm craving bar food. I want deep-fried pickles and Snickers, wings and breaded mushrooms. I just ate a dill pickle and peanut butter sandwich. I think I'm pregnant. KARAOKE TONIGHT.

• I employed eeny meeny miny moe this morning to choose between my Darkwing Duck and Duck Tales t-shirt. Duck Tales won. I love Duck Tales. Proof. I owe Andie an embarrassing video anyway.

• Someone needs to have another birthday soon. Because I want to dance with a midget stripper again. To Get Low.

• If Fred and George had the Marauder's Map for years, I'm wondering why they never became curious as to why someone named Peter was sleeping with Ron.

• In class today we were discussing our favorite actors. I tossed Marlon Brando's name into the ring. This one girl had no idea who he was; I rattled off some of his films and it wasn't until I rolled my eyes and said, "the fat guy in The Godfather" did she understand. I wanted to rage at her.

• TWENTY-SEVEN DAYS UNTIL COACHELLA.

• Bob Marley is on my lighter.

• I'll be an art camp counselor this summer. \o/ If I die by Jason's machete, I ask that Gandalf go to Calli.

This has been a post.

Using bullets because I'm so stinkin' scatterbrained right now. Today is Therapy Monday. Fuuuuck. I'm going to ignore everything going wrong in my life and be blissfully content in denial. I don't even fucking care anymore. Fuck you, Tyler Durden. I'm imagining my pain as a white ball of healing light.

• Tomorrow is the release date of Resident Evil: Operation Raccoon City. I'm all sorts of geeking out right now. The first day of Spring is also tomorrow. I'm so excited. Also, I saw a bee today. I flailed and ran away. But it was lovely.

• I'm glad I decided to walk slow while entering the shop. I was barely a foot away from being poop-bombed by a bird.

• While driving to work, I was oh-so cleverly misled by a song on the radio. I thought John Mellencamp's awesome tune Jack and Diane was playing but it was really Jessica Simpson singing I Think I'm in Love With You. I was already yelling out "Little ditty 'bout Jack and Diane!" before I even noticed something was different. I feel the same way when I hear the beginning of "Ice, Ice, Baby" and get all excited and flail because I think it's "Under Pressure" By Freddie Mercury and David Bowie. But I sing along anyway because I have no prejudice and I love love love all sorts of music. XD

• I'm a huge Poe fanboy and I want to see The Raven. I hope they don't ruin Poe for me but it's from the directors of V for Vendetta and I adore that movie, so I'm remaining optimistic. Also, John Cusack. I love him. Especially in Identity and 1408. I don't think I've been this excited for a movie since Johnny Depp was in From Hell. Gah.

Okay guys. Prepare yourself for some soul-searching. I'm talking serious philosophy here, folks. Look deep within yourself. Deep breath. Okay, now exhale. Are you ready? Because I'm willing to wager that Aristotle even pondered this many times. Here We Go:

NSYNC or The Backstreet Boys?

I don't even.

( I can't. )

I haven't slept in over forty-eight hours so if this makes no sense whatsoever.. whoops? Plus I'm currently on my way to NYC to watch The Black Keys and Arctic Monkeys and I'm terribly excited, and I really just need to calm down. Nothing worse than being antsy in a moving vehicle. I may be murdered soon.

Anyway, so. I received a notification that my two Coachella wristbands will arrive tomorrow! \o/ RUBIX, AHHH. Honestly, I wanted to buy like eight so we can have a huge group go but one ticket was probably $285, not to mention the on-site camping fee. And while I'm admittedly a cuddly hippie that wants to stuff everyone into my backpack, we still need to spend cash to get there. And with all the crazy going on, I just want to frolic around half-naked in the desert and sweat it out to some crazy awesome music for a whole weekend. There are also seesaws and a hamster wheel and also a Ferris wheel and I cannot. I can't. Is it April 20th yet?

( My brain kind of.. wandered off here. Ignore if you want. )

However, at said party, I wore footie jammers and danced with a stripper. A little person stripper. I can cross that off my Bucket List. Okay, so here's the part where I ask you a question, Providence. What's on your Bucket List?

I want to become a teacher and then, eventually, a father because I've always wanted to be a superhero, and those are pretty dang close.

Oh! Could I talk anyone into doing something like this with me? Please?

I PICK CALLIFACE UP FROM THE AIRPORT TOMORROW. I AM EXCITED.

( [locked to self] )

Whole bottle of Nyquil and a Xanax feeling delirious. Child's Play is still scary and pillows are awesome and fluffy. Can someone come sing Soft Kitty to me? I just want to sleep because Bev had an attack last night and she tried to kill herself so I was at the hospital all night and day I've been awake for far too long. This is taking forever to type. This has been an SOS for cuddles. Back to your regularly scheduled programming because I'm tired of fixing typos, ahah. Thank Dumbledore for little red squiggly lines.

Rest in Peace, Davy Jones.

I wanna be free,
Like the bluebirds flying by me.
Like the waves out on the blue sea.
If your love has to tie me, don't try me,
Say goodbye.

Godammit. Why can't I just like Ke$ha or something?

And now I'm finished spamming your walls. Please continue with your regularly scheduled programming.

Instead of working on my Worldview paper for the random philosophy class that I'm taking, I decided to throw together a survey. I like learning about you guys and seeing what we have in common.. or if you should just run away now, ahah.

So. I present to you, ( A Very Toby Survey )

Also, I need to figure out to get these braid thingies out of my hair. :/